"You Put The O in DisOrder" chapter; 21


It’s not fair.

Mostly because I know how it feels to be censured and ridiculed.

It’s so painful to watch somebody you love go through it, and now I guess I understand how Louis felt when people shunned me away.

But this will pass… Wont it?

Jay can’t hate Louis forever…

He’s her son for christ sake.

I haven’t spoken to my mum for a week after Louis told me, because I’m too pissed off to even look at her.

Why’d she have to tell?

I begged her so many times not to, and then she snuck behind my back and did it anyway.

Yeah, thanks mum. Love you too.

Plus, I’m under a huge amount of stress right now… With the Louis situation, and school, and my fucking cock.

You know what stress does to my disorder?

Makes it ten times stronger, and more painful!

Isn’t that awesome?

(Insert sarcastic smiley face here.)

It’s hard for me to even walk down the hallway properly, and I’ve been having to wear sweat pants religiously.

Louis notices, and he tries to relieve me, giving me back rubs when we do interviews after school.

For seven days this has been my excuse:

"I have to stay after for a project."

Which is half true.

One half is spent on interview questions…

The other is hand jobs.

We’re taking it real slow.

And I like that, because it means that Louis cares enough to wait.

Besides, hand jobs seem like a pretty good place to start in my opinion.

Plus it relieves some of my stress, so shout out to Louis for being an angel.

Love you, boo.

On Friday, I get home and I drop my bag at the door, nearly in tears knowing Louis is at home with his mum.

Shes been doing some really weird shit the past couple days.

He told me she gave him a bible, suggesting that he just consider reading it.



He texted me an hour later saying it was in his fireplace.

He even attached a picture with it.

So… Considering it is out of the question.

Sorry Ms.Tomlinson.

(Not really though.)

I see my mum in the kitchen while I’m trying to get some juice and I purposely ignore her.

Who wouldn’t right?

"Harry, you can’t just ignore me your whole life sweetheart…" She says, trying to be sweet.

I clench my jaw and take out the jug of orange juice, getting a glass as well, and still- I ignore her.

I can’t look at her.

Why would she tell? Why?

God. Parents these days.

"Louis just isn’t… He isn’t right for you darling. And I don’t want you seeing him…"

I feel my face heat up in anger, pouring my orange juice into the glass with an iron grip, white knuckling it.

"What about our neighbors daughter Eleanor? She seems nice."

Oh my god.



I thought she was okay with this!

I thought she was okay with me.

I turn to her, giving a cold glare.

"Whats the matter with you mum? Huh? God damn it you act like I’m actually interested in women or something."

I seethe it out, and she swallows deep, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against the counter.

"I don’t want you seeing him. I’ll come pick you up after school each day."

Is that a fucking threat or something?

Well, it might as well be because Louis’ project is in jeopardy now.

If we can’t talk in person it doesn’t really count, does it?

"You wouldn’t do th-"

"I would, Harry."

I look at her and furrow my brows, feeling so fucking angry that I could punch a wall.

But not really…

Because ouchie.

"Fuck you."

Her eyes widen, and I cannot even believe I just…

Did I just say that?

"Give me your phone, and so help me you better walk yourself up to your room or else I’ll escort you by your ear young man!"

I watch her with a gulp, because my mother has been so nice to me.

So caring and gentle.

Until she saw me with a boy.

I don’t…

I don’t even get it.

With tears in my eyes, I hand over my only connection to Louis while I’m at home and turn around.

As I walk I wish I never said that,

As I walk I wish I were different,

And as I walk, I realize I forgot my orange juice.

Not in the mood for it anymore anyway.


:( eepp

Love you all my babieeeees hehe!

And hey, even if you don’t like fem larry could you please support it anyway? It would mean so much hehe xo

Much orgasmic love,

Amber xoxox

Ps. Homophobia is like being mad in a subway line because the guy in front of you ordered a different a different sub.

- heard that on tumblr awhile back!

Xoxox keep purring:)